Recently I was talking to a good friend of mine when she said something that made me laugh but it also made me think:
“I often delete people on their birthday. If I don’t want to wish them a happy birthday when I see the reminder, I ask myself why am I Facebook friends with them?”
Although at first I thought it was a bit mean to delete people from Facebook on their birthday, I’ve found myself doing something similar. If I hide your updates from my news feed I don’t want to know. If I don’t want to know then why are we Facebook friends?
Take one girl for example. I won’t name her as that’s a bit mean but let’s call her Lucy. When I started placement, a large group of us were suddenly thrown together and expected to make friends, a bit like fresher’s week all over again. I suddenly had about 50 extra friends on Facebook and happily accepted these requests (and sent my own) because I welcomed the notion of future friendships blossoming. Many did blossom into proper friendships, but many didn’t Many remained acquaintances. So back to Lucy. I spoke to her whenever I saw her in the office and we always made idle chit chat but we never delved into deep personal issues. She had her own friends and I had mine. I didn’t dislike this girl and I don’t think she disliked me, but we just weren’t friends. Her Facebook activity was annoying but I spoke to her frequently and didn’t want the awkward moment when she tried to tag me in a photo, realised we weren’t friends and then asked me why. Since leaving placement, I found myself becoming increasingly irritated by her statuses where she would either post about how rubbish her life was (and then how amazing it was 15 minutes later) or she would ask ridiculous questions which often left me wanting to comment “just fucking google it.”
I hid all of her status updates and I was unlikely to ever talk to her or see her again, so why was she my “friend”? I’ll admit that at the time, I didn’t want my friend count to go down. As if others who saw my profile might think “ah she only has X friends, what a loser”. I’ve become a lot less sentimental since then and have deleted around 100 people so far, following my friend’s birthday logic. However I do wait until afterwards to delete them. Despite the fact they are unlikely to know, I feel a bit mean doing it on their birthday.
According to Dunbar, there is a limit to how many people you can have a relationship which involves trust and obligation. These relationships are more than just names and faces, these involve some kind of personal history. This number is 150. It always has been (well as long as we have been a human species) and despite the fact that we have moved from living in nomadic settlements to huge developments involving millions of people, it looks like it always will be 150. Our brains just can’t cope with any more.
Yet despite knowing I have way too many Facebook friends, the majority of whom I rarely speak to, I still can’t quite get myself round to getting rid of all of them. Because other people’s business becomes good gossip. I think the term “gossip” often implies malicious intent but it’s not always the case. See us humans, we love to gossip. It’s good for us. It’s been suggested that gossiping is a form of commitment, a way of saying “ I’m choosing you over every one else in the room”, which becomes even more prevalent with people we don’t know quite so well. Rather than telling an acquaintance your hopes and fears (little bit intense and rather awkward, trust me – I’ve been on the receiving end of that) it’s easier to discuss social happenings such as “Did you hear XXX and XXX got engaged?” Those of you sitting there and shaking your heads, saying that you never talk about other people or you never look at people’s social networking profiles just to see what they’re up to even though you’d be mortified if they ever found out? You’re only lying to yourself.
Equally, we not only allow people to engage in this behaviour but we actively encourage it. I bumped into a girl I went to Primary School with last week on the tube home and she started discussing her upcoming trip to New York and asked if I could recommend anywhere to go. She only knew I’d been there because she’d seen the photo album I put online. And I was honestly a little bit creeped out that she had freely admitted it to me. But I uploaded photos of my trip because I wanted to share my amazing trip so why should it worry me that someone I didn’t know so well had seen it? I allowed her to see it, so why shouldn’t she have gone through my album and admired my touristy snaps. We play out our lives on social media platforms because we want an audience. I sometimes feel a bit disheartened when I post a hilarious status update and no one “likes” it. Thankfully I have an excellent friend who always likes my activity if he thinks I’m lacking in the like department. Good boy.
I think we also tend to gossip because we love to tell stories. On a much larger scale, stories can help give us a better understanding of who we are and where we come from. Just look at Judaism. The story of Passover directly influences the way in which Jewish people honour Passover and by understanding the story, Jewish children are taught about their history and what each of the symbolic rituals means. Other religions are the same. Hearing stories about our past allows us to gain a better understanding of ourselves and shape our future.
What started out as a simple question, “do I really need all those Facebook friends” has turned into a bit of a ramble so I shall stop here for now. I guess all I’m trying to say is that so many people seem to play out their lives through social media in a “my dick’s bigger than yours” type contest. But surely the people who don’t post statuses every 5 minutes are those who are having the most fun. Those people are out having fun in the world and not stopping to think about how to show off their amazing lives to people they probably don’t even like.
I love being creative with nail stuff and this one was pretty simple.
- I painted on two layers of 17 - Mint Choc Chip (seriously my favourite nail colour ever, even if it doesn’t look like mint choc chip!)
- Painted on blobs of pink randomly, the messier the better
- Outlined most of the blobs in a c shape (so not fully outlining them) using a Models Own nail art pen in black
- Put a nice top coat over the top to set it
Someone put a link to this on facebook and although many aren’t exactly original, they are funny! It’s basically a tumblr dedicated to the standard moans / rants of a Londoner. It’s something we can all relate to and my personal favourites include:
When someone tells me to smile
When someone says they live in London when they live in Watford
It’s certainly an amusing time killer!
I’m not going to lie, I rarely get into resolutions. Mainly because I don’t see the point in waiting until January to better myself. If I think to myself “ah I really need to do this in order to become a better person”, why should I wait 3 months?
Having said that, I did set myself a goal to read more books in 2012, preferably 1-2 per month. I love reading and it took a bit of a back-seat from 2010-11.
So far I have managed:
- Chamberlain, Diane – The Midwife’s Confession
- Collins, Suzanne – The Hunger Games
- Collins, Suzanne – Catching Fire
- Collins, Suzanne – Mockingjay
- Haynes, Elizabeth – Into the Darkest Corner
- Larsson, Stieg – The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
- Larsson, Stieg – The Girl Who Played with Fire
- Larsson, Stieg – The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest
- Levitt, Steven and Dubner, Stephen – Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything
- Levitt, Steven and Dubner, Stephen – SuperFreakonomics
- Mathewson, R.L. – Playing For Keeps
- Moyes, JoJo – Me Before You
- Nicholls, David – One Day
- Nicholls, David – The Understudy
- Peterson, Alice – Monday to Friday Man
- Pilkington, Paul – The One You Love
- Renham, Lynda – Croissants and Jam
- Spalding, Nick – Love… From Both Sides
- Wallace, Danny – Yes Man
- Watson, SJ - Before I Go To Sleep
I think I’ve done alright so far but there are still a few months left in the year!
This remains one of my favourite music videos ever. It’s beautiful.
In an attempt to properly get into blogging, I took a look at my blog so far and have had a little play around. I absolutely love silly youtube videos and found that I was regularly posting links to stuff I found and that was starting to make up the majority of my posts. Instead, I’ve decided to create a separate videos page entirely dedicated to funny / interesting videos! I’ll continue to post the occasional song I love in my blog.
You can find it on the Videos button on the left or by clicking here
I could listen to this all day :)
Instead of posting my pictures one by one, I thought I’d upload a batch. This is my 8 month old puppy, Daley! We aren’t 100% sure what breed he is as he was a stray but we think he’s come kind of cross between a springer spaniel and a labrador (with perhaps a bit of staffy in there?)
I know it’s a bit odd to say this but he is such a good looking dog! He has a lovely shiny coat and definitely lives up to the phrase “puppy dog eyes”!
This is the look I get every time I eat anything. He doesn’t jump up, he just sits there and looks at me with those lovely brown eyes!
Whenever my dad goes out, he sits and pines by the front door!
Licking the fridge…
Out in the sun in his car harness! Unfortunately he can’t get across our dual carriageway yet so he has to be driven to the park and he doesn’t like the car but he will get used to it!
He likes to play in the garden!
All worn out!
He’s so cute